So you’re here for some witty writing or bored out of your mind. Really, those are the only two choices I see as possibilities. But you’re here, and most likely a member of Blogcatalog as well. I joined BC last August and I have to say it is the best social networking site that I’ve run across.

I know there are people who claim that Blogcatalog is their highest source of traffic to their blog(s). While I can’t claim that, I will say that the traffic from Blogcatalog is the best in terms of actually reading and commenting on my blogs. That is what makes them #1 in my book. The members are the key to the site along with great support from the owners/administrators. A top notch group.

A callout was made for guest bloggers to fill up this blog with fresh material and I threw my hat into the ring. While chosen as the 3rd blogger to do a post it looks like I may actually be the 1st to do a post.

(Totally understandable. When I ventured in here it was quite a mess. I cleared away the cobwebs, dusted a bit, and threw out the leftover fruitcake from Christmas. Sheesh, you guys are busy trying to please us I know, but a li’l housekeeping wouldn’t have hurt you.)

I decided the best approach to this post was to do an in depth interview with one of the owners of Blogcatalog. I chose Angie Alaniz for this. (You’ll probably see why as this train wreck progresses.)

Guest posts have always intrigued me and I’ve actually had guest bloggers myself a few times and I’ve enjoyed them. Angie is being extremely brave though. Seriously brave. How brave? Well I already said seriously but I’m gonna let you all in on a little secret here. She’s scared…and doesn’t know it, and really didn’t agree to this.

When I asked about some ground rules for the guest post I was told, with great authority, that none were needed. But we’re going to leave the source of that authority unknown for now.

Here are a couple of facts about Angie that many people may not know:

1) Angie has two blogs listed at Blogcatalog:
a) What Are We Doing Here Anyway — http://www.angelicaalaniz.com/
b) Why Are We Even Here — http://angelicaalaniz.squarespace.com/

2) Angie blogs in the nude. Honest. Well ok, I can’t actually say I have a confirmed sighting but using my vivid imagination I’m sure that’s how it is. (And she’s cute so she can get away with this. Hey! Seriously! It‘s the net and we‘re all cute here dammit.)

So where the hell was I? Oh… the interview, we’re getting there.

Interviewing women can be taxing though. You see I bring out two thoughts in most women I meet in life. Yes the dreaded ‘double D’s’ if you will. (I disgust them and they discourage any further contact.)

(So what if I collect restraining orders like some people collect stamps or coins?? We all need our little hobbies.)

I thought the best way to determine good interview questions was to do a thorough blog inspection. So I dug around Angie’s archives like a frat boy during a panty raid. (I was impressed to say the least and actually a little more than just a little turned on. I’ll send back any borrowed materials Angie. They were needed as research items, honest!)

(Can anyone tell me if it’s necessary to dry clean a thong? Just wondering. Thanks in advance. Oh….some of this other stuff….so lacy and frilly…again….a little help here please.)

I am so easily side-tracked.

So back to the interview. Since I own this blog today, albeit briefly, I get to make the rules though. I not only get to ask the questions, but I also get to provide the answers as well.

(She does have the right to refute any of her answers or for that matter go into greater detail if she wishes. After all….I’m not a monster and can be quite charming and thoughtful at times despite the restraining orders.)

Monkey Tale: ‘What is your favorite use for duct tape?’
Angie: ‘I really don’t think you need to know this Monkey Tale. Just be satisfied that this wonder tape can spice up any room in the house.’

Monkey Tale: ‘If your nickname was Room Service exactly what would that imply?’
Angie: ‘It would depend on the type of room and who exactly is in the room. For instance Monkey Tale, if it was for you, it would imply soggy toast and lukewarm coffee at best.’

Monkey Tale: ‘What is your opinion on the prostitution of the tooth fairy?’
Angie: ‘What the @%$* is the matter with you Monkey Tale? Don’t confuse the tooth fairy with that slut Snow White and those seven little perverts she runs around with!’

Monkey Tale: ‘Do you consider yourself weird?’
Angie: ‘Not after meeting you. I must have been insane to let you do this to me and allow you to live!’

Monkey Tale: ‘What is your first thought before you go to bed?’
Angie: ‘It used to be I wish I had the love of my life sharing this bed. Now it’s pretty much did I lock the door so that perverts like you cant sneak in?’

Monkey Tale: ‘What’s the meanest thing you’ve allowed someone to do to you?’
Angie: ‘Actually I’m starting to think that this is gaining ground. I will be kicking your @$$ in the near future.’

Monkey Tale: ‘Would you ever participate in a threesome?’
Angie: ‘Only if the other two participants were you. Now before you get all big-headed let me explain. I figure as old and frail as you are it would take two of you to keep up with one of me.’

Monkey Tale: Oh, really?
Angie: Yes. Really. And quite frankly I’ve seen one of you in action and to think that I’d ever consider you for this is ridiculous. I only want two of you available for a double homicide. Dirty old man, be gone!

Monkey Tale: ‘How do you vent your anger?’
Angie: ‘I’ve made reservations at a very nice restaurant for us to show my gratitude to you. The best part is that it is strategically located within walking distance of both the emergency room and a funeral parlor. (Wear clean underwear.)’

So that’s all I’ve got. I think the last question pretty much sealed the deal and why should I push my luck? But isn’t nice to get to know one of the owners behind the avatar?

Thanks for allowing me to make a fool of myself today Angie even though this “guest” post is more than likely a huge surprise to you. And people, head over to her blogs…. she’s a good read and hopefully, after reading this, a good sport as well.

Monkeytale is an active member of the BlogCatalog discussions, while authoring 3 blogs over at blogspot. Monkey Fables and Tales is described as Nonsense served almost daily. Obscure History offers pearls of wisdom about little known facts/events in history and day to day life and the blog Sensory Overload covers book reviews, social commentary and thoughts on current events.