BlogCatalog Blackberry Compote

Blog Catalog Blackberry Compote
A recipe by Cookingasshole, a dude who can cook.

It is that time of season again when all the delicious berry bushes flower like a young woman. Their fruits are readily available across the nation (except in the loser states like Wyoming) so we must put them to good use. We have already made a cobbler and a pie so today we are going to make a bad ass compote to pour over some vanilla ice cream. Jealous? You should be. Good thing this recipe is so easy even your inept ass can make it. Let’s begin:

In a small saucepan combine 12oz of blackberries, 1 1/2c of water, 3/4c sugar, and the juice from 1/2 a large lemon. If you cannot find blackberries in your crappy state or country, you can subsititute anything that ends in berry. If you must use frozen berries be sure to defrost them and drain them or else you will end up with a total mess on your hands and everyone you know will laugh at your inability to cook even the simplest dish.

Simmer the mixture over medium heat (that would be ’5′ on the knob, genius) for 45 minutes. Be sure to stir it between glasses of wine. “Literally?” No, not literally jackass. I was just implying that you have a drinking problem, Lushy McDrinksalot.

And there you have it. A lovely accompaniment to some sweet vanilla ice cream. Too bad you will screw this up and resort to using Smucker’s Goober on yours. Eat it.