A Cheeto Named Larry is a fanciful name, born from the munching and crunching sounds made by a lady who loved eating the cheesy snack. Journey McGuire is the author and funny writer behind the idea of Larry (I’ll let her tell you this part), but I will let on that she made a snap decision in the creation, demise and resurrection of this orangey chap. I just love the way he looks.
Inanimate objects of affection have a way of developing personality traits. They can assume a life of their own even while remaining in the same position. Take a new stuffed animal, a soft really cute stuffed animal and give it to a child. Within five minutes it has been named. Proof enough that they’re irresistible, but it doesn’t end with stuffed animals either. Kids love their blankets and pillows and special clothing, too.
The point is … A Cheeto Named Larry is a blog penned by a writer who can take the events in her life and turn them into something akin to tongue-in-cheek wit, bordering on a little stand-up comedy. Her perspective of her daily routine makes them amusing and fun to read. It’s a place where frank speaking is refreshing and when you leave you’ll be wearing a smile. Each time I see the BlogCatalog Banner for this site I cannot resist Larry. My eyes light up and I begin to smile back at him.
Theresa: Your name is cool and reminds me of the rock group. Who named you and is there a story to tell?
Journey: I’m not cool enough to be born with a name like Journey. My real name is actually very unfortunate and is the reason I drink. I’ve been mistaken for a little Mexican man, my entire life. But there is a story behind the name. Journey was actually the chosen name for my great niece, who unfortunately didn’t make it into the world. It was my way of helping her live on. I like to think she’d have the same sense of humor that the rest of us do so I don’t think she’d mind and I was given permission by her mother to adopt her name. Just a side note: if her name would have been Myrtle, I’d have instead suggested the planting of a tree in her honor.
Theresa: I know you’ve told it before but please share Larry’s history.
Journey: Ah, Larry. Well, one day I was screwing off at work, eating a bag of Cheetos, and I got to the last one and it just took on a humanesque-ish form. The Cheeto looked like a little man named Larry. I propped him up on my computer monitor and that’s where he stayed for years, inspiring a litany of idiotic blog posts. But then one day after four years, I went through some weird phase where I hated the writing and so I threw Larry in the trash and deleted my blog. I still can’t believe I did that.
Theresa: I enjoyed how you lost your “chi” even though during battle you had unfair advantage. Do you agree?
Journey: Hell no. Scrubbing Bubbles does not a murderer make. Besides, spiders have all sorts of advantages, like being quiet, being sneaky, being scary, and being little enough to BE ON you without your consent. The Internet claims they crawl in our mouths when we sleep. If I woke up while that was happening, I would immediately die. They clearly have the advantage.
Theresa: You mention you are a contributor for Humor Outcasts. What is this and how did you become involved?
Journey: Humor Outcasts is an awesome platform for humorists and a great place to spend your lunch break. It’s a site where you’ll find a variety of funny posts ranging from G Rated, all the way up to my kind of debauchery. I came across the site early in the year and thought I’d submit an article, not thinking they would actually like it. But they did and so my name gets to appear alongside all sorts of talented authors and bloggers. This site should be visited at least once a day for optimum happiness.
Theresa: You had me shaking my head and gurgles of laughter burst forth as I read your post “You’ll Die. Period”. The photo you included was priceless. I’m certain a lot of parents never got around to talking about things before they happened. Do you have anything else to add about how parents could be avoiding topics relating to their children and growing up? Are there any more that happened to you?
Journey: I don’t really know why any parent would want to avoid those discussions. I rather enjoy them. It’s fun to embarrass your kid, and it’s your right as a parent. I tell my ten year old everything he didn’t want to know and more. I don’t want him being surprised when his wiener starts doing funny things. I live for the times he asks questions like, “what’s a period” and “what’s an erection”. I get to make a special and lasting memory, like my parents did with me. And yes, there were many more like the period one for me.
Theresa: I love animals especially cats. Do you have any pet members of the family?
Journey: My husband won’t let me have a cat. He says he’s allergic but I think he’s a liar. We have two dogs, a Labraheeler and a Jumbo Yorkie. The Yorkie was supposed to be my consolation prize for not having a cat. She was also supposed to be four pounds fully grown but that didn’t work out either. I’d like to own a miniature donkey one day.
Theresa: I read your husband looks like a rugged Ben Affleck and a story of a fish hanging out with another fish in the fishbowl. Tell us more and how many kids, too.
Journey: My husband does look like Ben Affleck. That’s why I’m willing to live life without a cat. We have one son. He was pre-baked for me, and while some would call that a stepson, to me he’s just son. I never wanted kids so this has been a very interesting experience falling in love with a midget. He provides lots of fodder for the blog. I like him. And … my son has fish that routinely fornicate in front of him.
Theresa: Can you share how you met your husband? Was it love at first sight or friendship first?
Journey: You ask all the hard questions. Initially, we worked at the same place and a friend tried to set us up. At the time, my husband was rather friendly with the ladies, if you catch my drift, and wasn’t interested in giving up that lifestyle. I was good with that but we did become friends and hung out pretty regularly. When I started dating somebody else I think that bothered him more than he thought it would, because when I broke up with the other guy he gave up his philandering ways and vowed to only philander with me.
Theresa: Do you like to travel? If so where are some of your favorite destinations?
Journey: My favorite destination is to the wine store. I’m sure I would love to travel if I ever got the opportunity but so far I haven’t been so fortunate. And by travel, I don’t mean in a car. I get panicky in heavy traffic. I’ve been to places like Colorado and the beaches in Florida, but nowhere super sexy. I have a thing for the mountains and I really want to visit Alaska, Switzerland, and go drink in Ireland. I also want to go somewhere that I have a legit chance of meeting Big Foot. I hear Texas has some but they don’t live where I live.
Theresa: Do you live in a large city, a suburb or in a rural location? What do you enjoy the most about the part of the country where you reside?
Journey: I live in Waco, Texas, famous for its fiery massacre. The population’s only about 120,000, which is big enough for me. I think the best part of living in Texas is that the weather September through May is kickass. But during June, July, and August, you will wish you were dead. I wish I were dead right now, as a matter of fact.
Theresa: Have you been funny from early on or did this develop, as you got older?
Journey: Funny looking maybe. People say I’m funny but I would classify myself more along the lines of weird. And I think the people who think I’m funny are weird like me, so that makes me feel better. I was a really messed up kid but I found the humor in that later in life, just not at the time. So I guess I’m glad of how I grew up because it really does make me laugh looking back. I would never categorize myself as funny as a child, though, scary maybe, but not funny.
Theresa: Who are some of your favorite comedians?
Journey: Louis CK for sure! He calls kids assholes and I like that. Jim Gaffigan cracks me up. Melissa McCarthy – she can make me pee my pants. There are too many to name. My husband and I sit in the garage and listen to comedy on Pandora all the time. It’s important to laugh. It kills cancer.
Theresa: If you didn’t write, and I know you’re crazy about it, what else would you do in order to share yourself with the world?
Journey: I would probably be a hooker. If not that, I think I would like to own a cat farm and save stray cats. Or, it would be really cool to own a bookstore and just sleep there in the middle of the floor with my bookstore cat. Maybe I would like to be a soap opera star, but then I don’t know how I’d feel about kissing strange men. I guess that would disqualify me as a hooker. As you can see, writing is the only option.
Theresa: Tell us something we can read in order to know a little more about you. Things like … do you like to stay home or go out to movies, plays, bookstores, restaurants, the park, go bike riding, and take long walks on the beach. We really enjoy learning those goings on behind the scenes of our members.
Journey: I don’t like to go places, as a general rule. It’s because I don’t want to put on makeup or wear sensible clothing. The other day I decided I should get in shape so I ran down to the stop sign and back. I haven’t done that shit again. I love the beach, and the mountains and trees, or any place with water really. I tell my husband all the time I want to go live in the woods. I would wash our clothes in the stream and beat them on a rock, but he doesn’t seem down with that. I like to camp and do nature things that don’t require a lot of effort on my part, like sit and drink wine and look at something pretty. My dream would be to live in a mountain town with say, a population of 1000 people. I could dress badly and maybe even meet Big Foot.
Theresa: Are you an only child or do you have siblings? What was it like when you were a kid? Give us a for instance around the family dinner table.
Journey: I have four sisters and a brother. I was the youngest, or the caboose, as my dad calls me. My four siblings are all older than I, so I didn’t really grow up with them. That leaves just me and my sister, Kansas, who’s almost three years older. I was a really odd kid so I didn’t have friends other than the ones I made up. I had big thick glasses and bucked teeth so I was a foxy one, as well. I even had to wear headgear. To school!
At the dinner table, my parents would sit there and talk about something really boring, like politics, and so Kansas and I would generally just make fun of them the whole time under our breath. For instance, if my dad said, “You know what that jackass Jimmy Carter did?” We’d finish his sentence for him with something like, “He made us eat poo poo. And then we’d just laugh and laugh, because poop is always funny when you’re little. And my parents would be none the wiser. Hey – we didn’t have many options.
Theresa: What are your plans for Larry? Is there a book or a film in the future for him?
Journey: I’m in the process of writing my book now. It’s about growing up weird and awkward and antisocial. Writing this book is a blast because I lived it all. Some people think it’s arrogant to write about your life when you aren’t even famous, but I really think it’s something everyone will be able to relate to in some aspect. It’s pretty funny so far and I’m really excited to get it finished and published. I hope to have it completed by the end of the year so I can start on some other ideas. And to think, it all started with one Cheeto!
Thanks so much for featuring me. This has been a lot of fun!
It’s been a blast hanging out with you and I appreciate your taking the time to let us peek behind the scenes. You have a wonderful sense of humor and you’re right about the Cheeto. While Larry looked cute, it was your initiative to spare his life (you were probably full?), and this magical decision on your part, instigated the believable animation and Larry instantly sprang to life. I wonder if he did a little song and dance for you atop your monitor. Ha! We’re so glad you have resurrected his personality and hope you’ll hurry up and complete your book.
Visit A Cheeto Named Larry and you’ll find yourself laughing over the words of a lady who has good timing and knows instinctively how to turn the everyday routines into enjoyable reads. She has moxie, spirit and sharp wit … along with those pajamas and fluffy house shoes. Follow her on BlogCatalog.
And … Journey … You’ve got a great smile!
About Theresa H Hall
As a professional vocalist, licensed broadcaster, artist, published poet, lyricist, writer, animal lover and budding pastry chef, my blogs are intended to be conversational, thought provoking, interesting, mostly humorous and sometimes serious. Please join me on my quest to make "Sleeping Kitten - Dancing Dog!" (SKDD) a favorite of yours to visit. Read me on Half Hour Meals dot com and on BrooWaha dot com